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Agents Are Good For Football!

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There’s been so much debate over the past year about football agents being detrimental to the game as we know it – but stop press, they’re not all that bad!

As it’s nearly the end of the transfer window I thought it’d be topical to talk about the ‘good guys’ in the business of agency. I present to you agents Simmo, Shaw and Redknapp.

These three ‘diamond geezers’ (as Agent Redknapp would say) really love Blackpool Football Club – they’re three of a kind. I hear you asking, why? Well, here’s why?

Profiles of agents used by Blackpool Football Club in the last year:

Name: Agent Simmo, aka Paul Simpson
Occupation: manager of ‘that team down the road’ – Pre*ton.
Evidence that he loves BFC: after taking over the reins at Pre*ton in June 2006, he has taken them from being serious promotion candidates to serious relegation candidates in the space of a year. Not bad going, eh? What’s more is that our friend Simmo not only falls out with the players but regularly says the fans are useless and that they don’t get behind the team, and the general resent towards the Dungdale faithful is hilarious. Simpson has managed to drive stalwart Gary Alexander out of the club, as he looks set to join Bumley! Agent Simmo really does love Blackpool Football Club, and the feeling is mutual now.

Name: Agent Derek ‘I want Premiership football, no really I do’ Shaw
Occupation: Chairman of Pre*ton, although standing down soon after announcing he won’t stand for re-election.
Evidence he loves BFC: Mr Shaw has been chairman at Dungdale since 2001 and has seen talented managers David Moyes and Billy Davies slip through his fingers as they furthered their careers elsewhere. Shaw has always been lambasted by the clubs supporters through perceived lack of ambition for years but has always insisted that he wanted Premiership football at Dungdale, hence deluding PKE fans. The thing we love most about Shaw though is that he very rarely likes to spend money, but loves selling. The sales of John Macken, Eddie Lewis, Richard Cresswell, David Healy and Ty Myres to name but a few high profile names have all been sold on and the money has been banked without spending any on incoming players. However, Shaw’s biggest achievement to date was appointing Agent Simmo last year – that was a masterstroke. Simmo got to work quickly with his job and alienated all backroom staff who ran along with their sweet-loving Billy Davies!

Name: Agent Harry Redknapp
Occupation: manager of Portsmouth.
Evidence that he loves BFC: last month Redknapp signed David Nugent from Pre*ton for a reported £6.5million. However, this isn’t strictly true and ‘Big Harry’ has swindled PKE out of millions of pounds as he looks to already sell on ‘Nuge’ on account he’s pants! Pre*ton were paid £3million up front for the striker and the rest of the money was to paid when certain clauses were triggered. None of these clauses have been triggered as of yet, and if he goes to Derby County PKE will only get a nominal fee as a percentage of the sale, so in effect have lost out on millions. We love Harry Redknapp!

So folks, give the agents a break, they’re not all bad!

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