Burnley – Turf Moor

Buuuuuuurnnnnnlllllleyyyyyyy – Turf Moor

Chim chimmery chim chimmeryy chim chim cheroo, we hate those ******** in claret & blue!!

One thing`s for certain Dick Van Dyke would never have had a smile on his face if he had ever had to sweep some chimneys in deepest darkest dinglesville. Not the pleasantest of grounds and certainly not a friendly welcome waiting for those of us making the trek over to t’turf on Saturday, for the first Lancashire derby of the season.

Now who’s to say the dingles are stereotyped. Let’s look at the evidence – Tony Livesey, the big bald headed (but still sporting a pony tail) fellah off the Safestyle adverts – ‘Arh say, yer buy wun, yer get wun free’ and Quasimodo. I think the safest thing we can say about Saturdays visit is that those 3 are all related via some sister, mother, auntie etc.

The Ground
T’Turf has always been impressive over the years. We used to get the corner at the end of the Longside, but away fans over recent years have taken up post behind the goal in the Cricket Field stand or to give its correct title The David Fishwick Stand. Room for 4,120 here and although there’s no official figures released as such over 3000 should make the relatively short journey. Restricted viewing in some areas due to 2 huge pillars which are strategically placed.

The ground holds over 22,000+. The Bob Lord (don’t forget to sing his name to wind t’them up) Stand has stood the test of time over the years.

How To Get There
Exit M6 at Junction 29 to M65/ Exit M65 at Junction 10 and follow signs for Burnley Football Club. At roundabout in Town Centre take third exit into Yorkshire Street. Follow through traffic signals into Brunshaw Road. Turf Moor is on the right. Parking is street parking around the ground. The Cricket Club car park will get busy and on recent visits I’ve used the area around the nearby Sainsburys, well within walking distance.

For the Virgin lovers the nearest station is Burnley Manchester Rd. Leave the station and walk down Centenary Way – t’Turf is visible from here. When you reach the roundabout at the bottom of the road, go right down Yorkshire Street, which becomes Harry Potts Way and the ground is on your left hand side 1 mile in distance though.

Where To Drink
Be selective, I’ve drunk in the Turf before a game, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I quote – ’10 outeh 10 for having t’bottle to come in t`here, but if it weren’t t’having yer old man with t’you you’d be on a hiding, now sup up and **** off’. I to this day haven’t a clue what gave us away but Essex Snr saying ‘What bitter do you serve round here?’ when we got to the bar may have just raised a suspicion or two with the locals. En route there’s a regular haunt called the Halfway House, out of town but always seems to attract Pool fans.

The cricket club is a regular haunt for away fans, as is the Queen Victoria near the fire station. Ale is served inside the ground.

Plod & Stewards
The old bill will be on top, expect escorts to and from the ground if you are on official travel. Some city fans told me last time they went they were all escorted one way by plod regardless of where they had parked. The stewarding will be interesting to see. I expect a large plod presence inside as well as outside the ground.

Fear Factor Rating – 8. Keep your eyes about you, and you hands in your pockets, not having that extra digit is a giveaway.

Well here we go all the fun of the fair. Our away form’s good, there’s a decent sized following, all set up for the proverbial. Burnley is like Royston Vasey, that said here’s hoping that at 5pm on Saturday we will get to leave, and with 3 points in the bag.

Onwards + Upwards